rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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