Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
