If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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