I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
