found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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