The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
