her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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