He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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