You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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