we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
