in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
