I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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