my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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