It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
