Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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