I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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