awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
