you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
