Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
