I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
