Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
