She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Randomize