he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
