Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
