he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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