I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
bring money and cleavage
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
