do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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