please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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