we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She bit a glass in half.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
