Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
