that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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