i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
