i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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