Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
