The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
whose parrot is this?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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