She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
