She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
