I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
