We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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