Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
