Me. At least after what I've been through.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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