everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
