So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You ruined the universe
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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