I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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