When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
