I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
