it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
