She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
