Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
