Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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