he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
