I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
