Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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