If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
