Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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