I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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