so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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