I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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