if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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