Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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