It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
