they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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