My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
