I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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