The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
