You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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