u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is Oprah even human
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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