It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
time to smoke my breakfast
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have post one night stand depression
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