mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
