flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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