Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
